Newton's love theory....

Universal Law:

Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer
from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.

First Law:

A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until on unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy.

Second Law:

The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of
the bank balance.

Third law:

The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and
opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.

Definition of Kiss

DEFINITION OF KISS ACCORDING TO:

Prof of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the
demand is always higher than the supply.

Prof. of Accountancy : Kiss is a credit because it is
profitable when returned.

Prof. of Algebra : Kiss is infinity because two
divided by nothing.

Prof. of Geometry : Kiss is the shortest distance
between two lips.

Prof. of Physics : Kiss is the contraction of mouth
due to the expansion of the heart.

Prof. of Chemistry : Kiss is the reaction of the
interaction between two hearts.

Prof. of Zoology : Kiss is the interchange of salivary
bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology : Kiss is the juxtaposition of two
orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction.

Prof. of Dentistry : Kiss is infectious and
antiseptic.

Prof. of Statistics : Kiss is an event whose
probability depends on the vital statistics of
36-24-36.

Prof. of Philosophy : Kiss is the persecution for the
child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Prof. of English : Kiss is a noun that is used as a
conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is
spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Architecture : Kiss is a process which builds
a solid bond between the two dynamic objects

Prof. of Comp.Science : What is a kiss? It seems to be
an undefined variable

Lalu got Microsoft's job offer

Once Laloo of Bihar, sent his bio data to America to
apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation. A few days later he got this
reply.

" Dear Mr. Laloo , you do not meet our requirements.
Please do not send
any further correspondence. No phone call shall be
entertained. Thanks"

Laloo jumped with joy on receiving this reply and
arranged a party. when
all the guests arrived, he said, "Bhaiyon aur behno,
aap ko Jaan kar khushi
hogee ki hum amreeca mein naukri mil gayeen hoon."

Everyone was delighted...

Laloo continued.....

" Ab main aap sab ko apna appointment letter padkar
sunaoonga, par
letter english mein hain isliyen saath - saath hindi
mein translate bhi karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo ----- Pyare Laloo bhaiya
You do not meet ----- Aap to milte hi naheen ho
Our requirement----- Humko to zaroorat hai Dead
Please do not send any further correspondance----- Ab
letter wetter bhejne
ka kauno jaroorat nahi
No phone call ------- Phoonwa ka bhi jaroorat nahee.
Shall be entertained ----- Bahut khatir ki jayegi
Thanks---- Aapka bahut bahut dhanyavad.

Computers Commands in Hindi.....

Bill Gates was in Indialast year. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi. Here are some ofthe Windows related terms that have been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi version of... Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2007

Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft
Khidki = Window
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Chaara = Options
Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name
Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort, retry,fail
chhavo = Tile
Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Chipkao = Paste
Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
Mitao = Delete
Kagaz Uper = Page Up
Kagaz Neeche = Page Down
Anth = End
Saaf karo = Clear
Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All
Makan = Home
Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock
Hathiyaar = Tools
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Chooha = Mouse
Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar, Udhar-se- Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar
Pardha = Screen
Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver
Krimi = Virus
Tika = Anti Virus
Karo = Do
Galthi = Error
Ghusao = Insert
Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before
Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between
Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After
Chabi Phalak = Key board
Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad
Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster
Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet
Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box
Chale? = Exit?

Chemistry Lesson just for fun….

Two new additions to the periodic table of elements.

Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

Types of Girls

HARD-DISK Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

SCREENSAVER Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Girls:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Girls:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.

Computer Shayari

Kal jab mile thhe
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain
your file not found!
-----------------------------------------------------
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...
-----------------------------------------------------
Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye...
-----------------------------------------------------
Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double-click karo...
---------------------------------------------------
Roz subha hum karte hain
pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain
jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...
-----------------------------------------------------
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
no more disk space.
-----------------------------------------------------
Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya server down.
-----------------------------------------------------
Jabse meri zindagi mein,
aayi hai ik female.
Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh
kya mailbox, kya e-mail.
-----------------------------------------------------
Dil se ek ishq ki
application create kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se debug karna
mein wait kar raha hoon.
-----------------------------------------------------
Tumhaare intezaar mein
neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection
time out ho gaya..
-------------------------------------------------
Nazar mein to kai hain
aur shaayad lonely hain...
Problem yehi hai ki voh
ab read only hain...

Kiyun chalti hai pawan

Kiyun chalti hai pawan,
Varying pressure zone formation,

Kiyun jhoome hai gagan,
Because of earth's revolution.

Kiyun machalta hai mann,
Problems with respiration.

Na tum jaano na hum.
But I just gave all the reasons!

Kyon aati hai bahaar,
Because of a change in season,

Kiyun lutata hai karaar,
Suffering from mental tension.

Kiyun hota hai pyaar,
Because of opposites' attraction.

Na tum jaano na hum.
Seems you didn't pay enough attention.

Kiyun gum hai har disha,
Because youhave a poor sense of direction.

Kiyun hota hai nasha,
Because of drug addiction.

Kiyun aata hai mazaa,
Brains response tophysical sensation.

Na tum jaano na hum.
Even after all the explanations?

--- AAYI BAAT KUCH SAMAJH MEIN --------

------DIKHAWAE PE MAT JAAOOO APNI AAKAL LAKAAOOOO..........